


3 Hours

by Asterrious



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Although it's not really mentioned, I have been a piece of shit, I've been on it, The ride I mention really exists, Trans Junkrat, Wasn't meant to be that shippy so I won't tag it like that., Waterpark fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7820362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asterrious/pseuds/Asterrious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roadhog and Junkrat have three hours in a waterpark before the explosives they've set will take the place down. </p>
<p>Sounds like the perfect time to go on some rides!</p>
            </blockquote>





	3 Hours

**Author's Note:**

> Not part of my series, just a little idea I couldn't get out of my head. Mostly from Roadhog's point of view for a change.

They’d originally thought it was some kind of theme park that catered to kids, one of those places with costumed people running around to take pictures with and rides that didn’t go over twenty miles an hour. Junkrat didn’t seem to get the idea of mascots or people dressing up as them, preferring to focus on reading over the list of rides and snickering at the ridiculous names.

“Thunder bowl, ha! Sounds like a fuckin’ toilet! A wild ride through tha’ sewers of the park or some shit like that!”

Despite all mockery, Hog knew he was going to ask to go. He was too invested in hunching over the pamphlet of attractions in the area, reading closely enough to make puns about their park’s size and not just the ridiculous names. It would be a shit show, he was sure- those places had excellent security most of the time, and while they’d gotten better at going undercover, a park full of kids was a place they definitely couldn’t hide. He’d have to remember to pack extra canisters for when things went sideways. Maybe find a way to nick a baby harness big enough for Junkrat and just plop him in that. Would make it a hell of a lot easier to keep track of the kid.

“What’s a water park?” Junkrat asked him, and he nudged himself back into the present, looking over at the pamphlet. Somehow he’d missed those little words underneath the place’s name when he first grabbed the rack of brochures and thrown them at the police officers following them. 

“All the rides have water. Ya float on it and slide down it and shit.” 

Junkrat squawked in alarm, turning over on the hotel bed to look at Hog fully, confusion evident across his features. It wasn’t surprising that he didn’t know what a water park was, given where he’d grown up. Water was either poison or muddy and cloudy, and neither of the options were much fun to drink, let alone immerse yourself in. Rat had gotten over his fear of water pretty quickly, after the first few baths didn’t dissolve him down to slush and bone, but the idea of doing things in water just for fun must have seemed completely alien.

Honestly, it felt that way to Hog too. He’d never been to a water park before the blast, avoiding crowds whenever he could, and there sure as hell wasn’t one in the middle of the Outback afterwards. Twenty years of his life had gone into being wary around water, wondering if the next sip would upset the radiation balance and make him sick, or if that mud particle he swallowed had some sort of flesh-eating parasite ready to devour him from the inside out. 

Civvies didn’t have to worry about that, though. Their water was always clean and fresh, carefully tended to for them by the city so that they could fill a glass from the sink and drop a few ice cubes in to make it cool. As if cold water was any different than warm water. He’d always scowled at the fancy fountains some places had, spouting water at random intervals to delight the crowds of people on their way to work. Homes with private fountains were even worse- those were only there to show off the family’s status, never mind the fact that several Junkers he knew would kill their own mothers to have steady access to that amount of water. The waste was staggering without even adding in pools and water parks. 

Thinking about it was getting him angry. There were people dying of thirst everywhere, not just in the Outback. Poor places without access to clean water, places where the Omnics had ravaged other than the Outback that were still dying for lack of aid. Not for the first time, he realized that the outside world did not care about them beyond a few words. Politicians promised to clean up the Outback and get all those poor people living there into safe homes, where they didn’t have to fight one another for food or water. Conveniently leaving out that it was their fault in the first place. All of it was. And the aid workers they sent to Junkertown and surrounding camps didn’t do jack shit beyond bringing clean bandages and teaching a few of the kids to read.

Junkrat had asked him a question and seemed to be expecting an answer, so he merely grunted and sat down on the other bed in the room.

“Wanna go?” Roadhog questioned him, his tone of voice markedly different from moments before. They’d go and take the place down. It was a mockery of their entire lives, and all the people in it were just asking for him to string them up and leave them to bake in the hot sun. Rat gaped at him for a moment, not expecting Roadhog to actually want to go there without a fight, but he nodded in excitement. He’d wanted to know why these people would be sliding and floating in unclean water- why that would be considered fun. Surely they weren’t using clean, fresh water for it. 

But his brain worked on overdrive, and Hog’s obvious anger told him that yes, yes they were. Suddenly he hated every single person that had ever set foot in the place, dirtying a precious resource just so they could spend an afternoon floating somewhere. That was what the ocean was for.

“Yeah! I’ll build waterproof bombs for it!”

Never mind the fact that he’d never attempted such a thing before. Junkrat hopped off the bed and scurried over to their duffel bags, beginning to sort through the miscellaneous scrap he carried around to try and find something useful. Visions of plastic casings danced in his head, but that might affect the bomb’s explosion radius or block the transmission signal for his detonator… Maybe he should see if he could find information on submarine depth charges and things like that. They made huge explosions underwater and it couldn’t be too hard to replicate them with his materials.

With his partner well and truly distracted for what he knew would be hours, Roadhog laid back on the bed without bothering to take his shoes or weapons off, preferring the weight of his gear around him. Absently, he wondered if he’d ever wanted to go to a water park as a child. He knew he’d always been surly and quiet, but surely he’d wanted to do the things that kids did when they were small.  
He felt disgusted by that thought and snorted. He hadn’t been a kid for quite some time, and there were no kids where he was from anymore.

Rat would probably want to try out at least a few of the rides before they destroyed the park, which sounded harmless enough. They’d sneak in through the side and set the charges, spend an hour on the rides so the kid could see what he’d missed while living in the dusty wasteland of the Outback, and they’d be out of there before the cops even knew that the mercenaries they were so desperately looking for had been there.

Of course, he knew not to expect things to go perfectly, not when Junkrat was part of the plan, but he thought it was doable. 

Hopefully.

 

It was hot as they carefully cut through the security fence that surrounded the park, meant to keep the visitors from wandering away and the people who hadn’t paid from wandering in. Lucky for Roadhog and Junkrat, they’d cased the park’s entrances before they arrived and found a wonderfully secluded spot behind the power generators, away from most of the foot traffic and staff. No one wanted to be around power generators while they were wet, even unconsciously. Just for laughs, when they were inspecting the fence, Rat had made them walk around to the front entrance to see what the security was like.

After about thirty-four different ways they could think of to fool the metal detectors and security guards, it stopped being fun. You’d think that people would want to protect themselves a little better, hire more security in the places they all went to- that was what Roadhog had been expecting. Huge, beefy security guards with guns or knives to protect the innocent. But these weren’t Junkers, who knew that every corner held something dangerous and lurking. Just civvies in their bathing suits and shorts, out for a day of fun with sunscreen slathered religiously over their skin and flip-flops soaked through with chlorinated water.

Taking already clean water and purposefully dumping a bunch of chemicals in it so that people could use it slide around? For the little kids to piss in, for the bandaids to swirl and stew in?

Honestly, even Junkrat wasn’t sure he wanted to be in that water after the hundreds of other people. It was beyond disgusting.

Roadhog had made him take a bath before they came, knowing that a soot-stained face would make them even more suspicious than they already were. Because he didn’t have the protective layer of dirt to shield his pale skin from the sun, they’d had to steal a bottle of sunscreen. Rat kept rubbing his palms over his skin, muttering about not liking the feel of the oils and chemicals. Hog didn’t believe he could actually tell the difference between them and the normal crap he kept layered on his body.

They’d dressed even more casually than they usually did, opting for the most beachy things they could find in order to blend in. Rat’s hair was held back from his face with a headband, his sunglasses huge and round, oval eyes that darted every which way, trying to take in all of the people, sounds, and smells. He never did well in crowds for long; Hog was going to have to watch out for that. Junkrat’s swim suit was brilliant orange and red, decorated with flames. They’d had to get a kid’s size in order to be sure he wouldn’t lose it on a water slide.

A Hawaiian shirt draped loosely over his boney shoulders, the red and white print the same as the one Hog had on. His was straining at covering his huge shoulders and arms, but it was better than nothing. He’d forgone the mask in favor of a bandanna tied around his mouth, and the matching pair of sunglasses to Junkrats. Rat joked that the getup made him look like one of the villains from the old western movies.

When they’d made it through the fence, they walked to the center of the park and stood still as the crowd bustled around them. Hog had a map held in front of his face, pretending to study it carefully as Rat zipped around behind him, carefully tending to the artificial tree standing in the middle of the square. All paths led to this place, and the owners of the park had put up a monstrosity of brown and green, meant to be seen from everywhere in the place so no one would get lost. There were benches set up in the thing’s shade, for parents too tired to go any further and kids who were beginning to turn the same shade of red as Rat’s swim trunks. It was actually a pretty good rendition of a tree- the leaves rustled together whenever the wind blew through them, and the roots curled and gnarled through the fake soil at it’s base. It looked like it had been growing there for hundreds of years, rather than the short time the place had been a water park.

The small access panels around the trunk gave the illusion away though, as did the hollow sound the tree made when you tapped on it.

Roadhog did a good job of shielding Jamie from view as he set up a small device, carefully painted brown and concealed in the plastic folds of the giant tree’s roots. Instead of a detonator, he’d set up a timer for the thing and set it to three hours- didn’t want to have to be close to the tree in order to set it off. With the amount of C4 they’d placed along the perimeter of the fence, there wouldn’t be anywhere to run to. He and Hog had sat down for hours to make a plan for the place, detailing where exactly to put explosives and how much they would need to level the place to the ground. 

Much to his disappointment, when they’d done the planning, Hog had said there wasn’t any real use for waterproof explosives. Not enough to justify the cost and hassle of getting the materials, anyway. The waters would be able to put out a few of the fires around the park when the slides gave way, but there wasn’t enough water in the world to fix buildings already crumbling. With any luck, the water pump system wouldn’t be damaged and there’d just be more and more water, flooding the survivors as they tried to escape. 

Poetic justice, Junkrat had snickered. The very water they’d polluted in the name of fun would be what killed them in the end. 

When his task was finished, Jamie skipped back over to Hog and plopped down on an empty bench, stretching his long limbs in front of him. The peg leg had been switched, replaced with a cheap prosthetic they’d gotten on the black market. It didn’t look real in the slightest, and didn’t function as good as his usual leg, but it was far less distinctive than the pirate’s accessory. He’d made a spectacular case for keeping the leg on when they went to the park, with arguments like:

_“But I’ll fit in!”_

_“I can complete tha’ look, they’ll jus’ think I’m in costume!”_

_“A regular leg’ll just slow me down when tha’ bombs start blowin’!”_

Hog had none of it. 

While usually he didn’t care what happened on the job, prepared to deal with anything that arose from Rat’s idiotic choices, he had a desire for this to go well. There was a disgust settled deep within his belly whenever he thought of the attractions around him, one that drove a desire to see nothing standing in their wake. He’d help Rat raze the place to the ground, and to do that the twitchy junker had to be corralled. The only thing better than watching the buildings and rides collapse would be seeing the looks on everyone’s faces as their precious extravagance came crashing down around them.

He wasn’t jealous. He was spiteful. Brimming with it, overflowing with the need to know that these people could be brought down to the level he and Rat had to be at to survive. Their screams in the wreckage would sound like dying animals, whimpers and sobs filling the air, and he would listen like it was the sweetest symphony. No one had listened to his children scream, or heard Jamie crying out in the desert when his leg was lost to a land mine from a distant war.

“Where’s the thing ya said we could hit first?” Rat asked him, relaxed form belying the tension Roadhog could feel strumming through his body. Once all his explosives were set, the kid got twitchy, constantly reaching for a detonator where there was none. Too eager to see the fire he knew was in the future. That was part of the reason Hog had agreed to let him on some of the attractions- to kill time while waiting for the park to be at peak capacity. It was 11 am now, but after lunch, around 2, would be the best time to strike.

Or worst, depending on who you asked.

He heaved himself up from the bench with a small grunt and Rat scrambled up behind him, pulling the park map out of Hog’s huge hand to begin scanning it himself. Steering them down one of the well-travelled paths while cheery music played on hidden speakers, he watched as Jamie struggled to decipher the tiny writing beside every picture. He knew how to read smaller words and could recognize numbers and chemical names, but that was about the extent of his reading ability. It didn’t bother the kid- he was far too jumpy to ever enjoy sitting down and reading a book. It would drive him crazy.

They were heading for the biggest ride in the park first, since it would only get more crowded as the day wore on. A huge red bowl rose above their heads, with a smaller tube feeding into the top and a larger one directly below it. Water poured from a huge opening in the bowl’s center, and with it came rafts of people, screaming and laughing as they were dumped out into another flow of water. Rat stopped and watched a few of the rafts come through, fingers twitching at his sides, before he began screaming with laughter.

People around them stopped as Junkrat bent over, metal finger glinting in the sun and pointing directly at the ride. Already he was turning pink, letting out more oxygen than he was taking in, and Hog rolled his eyes before turning to glare at those who had stopped walking. 

“S’a… Tha’s a… A fuckin’ toilet bowl, mate!” Jamie roared, spinning to face Hog. He reached up before the bigger man could stop him and forcibly turned Mako’s face to stare at the hole in the bowl, where another group of rafters was just dropping out. 

“People are payin’ ta be treated like shit! They’re getting’ flushed an’ everything!” 

Hog reclaimed his face as Rat doubled over once again, the force of his laughter shaking the entirety of his skinny body. He was rapidly going from pink to red, pausing to gasp for air one second and then dissolving against the wall the next. This was far more laughter than necessary for an idiotic toilet joke. Roadhog reached out to steady Junkrat and he looked up with tears in his eyes, hands coming up to grab onto Hog’s hand.

The next second, Mako thumped him firmly on the back and Rat went sprawling, the shock of it leaving him gasping against the concrete. Even more people stopped to stare and Roadhog turned to warn them off again as Jamie picked himself off the ground, glaring at a red, raw scrape on his elbow.

“Sorry mate. Couldn’t stop there, yaknow?”  
He chuckled slightly and Hog raised his hand, prepared to hit him again if the laughing started again. Rat raised his hands and quickly backed away, zipping his mouth shut. 

Roadhog fished a band-aid out of his pocket and handed it to Junkrat, who quickly covered the cut on his arm. He’d started carrying a steady supply after his first week on the job- nobody could collect bruises and cuts like Jamie could. The bright pink pigs on the fabric stood out against his pale, freckled skin as they went to stand in the back of the line. It snaked it’s way up a high, wooden set of stairs that he assumed deposited riders up at the top of the red tube that led into the bowl.

As the line of riders grew in front of their eyes, he heaved a huge sigh. There was at least an hour’s weight for the red toilet bowl.

If he hadn’t been so determined to have this go the way they’d planned, he’d have thrown Rat over his shoulder and marched up the stairs despite the people in his way. He had precious little patience and most of it was used up by just living in the same room as Rat. But they were playing the parts of civvies, even if they didn’t look it, and so he grunted when appropriate and zoned out for the most part, careful to keep an eye on Junkrat in case he got any ideas about cutting the line.

Despite his ability to tune Rat out, the people around them in line were not so lucky. When it became clear that his companion was not going to give him any entertainment, Junkrat turned to the women standing in front of them in line, grinning down at them as he danced awkwardly from foot to foot.

“How fast you reckon this slide goes, eh?” He questioned and they shrugged their shoulders, exchanging glances with each other. 

He wasn’t deterred, used to an uninterested audience.

“Do ya think the people that made it wanted it look like a fuckin’ huge toilet?”

One of the girls snickered and he took that as encouragement, beginning a long tirade on the values of good architecture and how the way a building was shaped really affected the way it came down. Junkrat managed to not mention that the big red bowl would be an amazing sight when it exploded, but that was about all the self-control he had. While they inched up the stairs, the thin man was everywhere, climbing on the railings and scaling poles to perch in the ceiling like a demented owl. Hog kept expecting security to force their way through the line and pull him down, but it seemed his antics were entertaining to everyone around them too.

When it came time for them to make the final step onto the next platform, instead of getting down and walking, Rat decided he was going to swing through the rafters like a monkey. He certainly had the longs arms needed to reach the next beam and he hooked his metal fingers around it with a smile, letting out a Tarzan yell as he threw himself across. All heads around them craned to watch his path, then all gazes dropped to the floor as Junkrat lay groaning in a heap. 

They were underneath a water slide, after all. He apparently hadn’t been expecting the beam to be absolutely soaked, but it had sent him sprawling.

Hog couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he reached down to pluck Rat off the floor, setting him up on his shoulder. The sound was deep and raspy, even without his mask. Junkrat grumbled and stuck his flesh leg out for Hog to inspect the fresh gash the floorboards had given him.

Another pig band-aid was added to his collection, and the humiliation from his fall mostly kept him from climbing on more of the structure. It was probably a good thing that they’d almost made it to the top anyway, since he could feel Jamie vibrating on his shoulder with pent-up energy and excitement. Stepping out into the bright sunlight of the ride’s uppermost deck made him momentarily blind. Hog had almost forgotten there was a sun in the sky, with how shady it’d been on the stairs.

The ride attendant openly stared as he set Junkrat down on the floor, seemingly trying to calculate the weight distribution in his head. Hog had been listening to him when they got closer- seemed they had to make sure each raft had as close to an even balance of weight as they could get it. For rider safety or some shit like that. He shook his head at the attendant before he even opened his mouth and gestured at the brilliant yellow raft in his hands. There would be no point in trying to counterbalance him and Junkrat. 

Rat took the raft from the attendant’s hands and plopped it in the water, throwing himself down on one of the seats with more splashing than was needed. It nearly floated down the tube from the force of his jump but Roadhog grabbed it quickly with one hand, looking around for a separate tube to ride in. 

“C’mon Roadie, ride with me!” The blonde yelled, reaching out to grab the hand holding the raft and yanking. Hog stumbled before he turned to give Rat a look that could have melted paint.

The grinning face was closer than he’d expected it to be though. Rat had a surprising, wiry strength about him sometimes and he took advantage of Roadhog’s surprise to yank him onto the raft, letting out a mad giggle.

It was a tight fit. His weight had the raft sinking on his side, taking on water instead of floating on the surface. Looking up at Jamie with murder in his eyes, Hog slid more fully onto the raft so he could reach the little shit and throttle him.

Too late, he realized that was exactly what he’d wanted. Junkrat cackled like a hyena and kicked out at the side of the pool, sending them sliding down into the red tunnel. The park attendant watched a look of calm acceptance cross Roadhog’s face before they disappeared with the sound of rushing water and Rat’s mad laughter.

The rush of water was fast enough underneath them that it counteracted Roadhog’s weight and the force of Rat’s kick pushed them into a spin. The tunnel went around and around as Hog tried to get his bearings, caught between reaching out for Junkrat in order to strangle him and trying to not fall out of the raft. There was a rush of light coming up and as they shot out into the belly of the red bowl, going far too fast. Hog was backwards, dragging them down. 

On the stairs, when they’d been high enough to see into it, they’d watched riders fall into the circular base and circle the drain in the middle at high speed, laughing as they were sent up one wall and down another.

Roadhog realized they counterbalanced weight for a reason when he saw the world go sliding by. They had too much momentum coming out of the drop for it to be safe, and even though Junkrat was screaming his head off with laughter, Hog reached out and finally managed to catch him. Inwardly, he breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the bony shoulders under his hands, pulling Rat into a huge embrace. 

The raft sped all the way up the side of the bowl and then there was nothing but air beneath them as they went off with a small splash. 

From below came the screams of the other parkgoers, certain that something terrible was going to happen. Hog couldn’t say he disagreed with them. Junkrat was squirming, trying to break free and see what was going on around them, but in the next instant they slammed back onto the plastic and Hog grunted in pain.

His back took the full front of the impact and they went right by the hole in the middle, instead of into it as he’d hoped. It had taken the other groups a couple of trips up the walls before they slowed down enough to drop into the lagoon below, but Hog was sure he didn’t want to do this again. This time, the momentum might only tip them over the edge of the rim instead of letting them fly up and then back down.

Leaving one hand pressing firmly against Junkrat’s back, he flayed his other arm and his legs against the plastic, shoving back into it as hard as he could. The structure groaned and creaked underneath them but held firm. He could feel the joins and screws in the bowl cutting red, raw patches into his back as they slid to a halt.

Every muscle he had was screaming at him, but Roadhog only grunted and heaved himself up into a standing position. The rushing water moved around his legs, threatening to trip him with every step, and Rat wiggled against his stomach, caught in another fit of laughter that also sounded strangely like choking.

No time to deal with that now.

Cautiously, he raised his foot and took a step, wary of the force of the water crashing into his ankles. Unfortunately, he wasn’t cautious enough, and Hog went down hard as that leg was swept out from underneath him. This time the impact forced the air from his lungs, and he too was left gasping for breath as the water finally swept them down the drain and dropped them in the lagoon below. 

It seemed like ages before he could get his body to move again, his back throwing a fit of spasms. There was very little air left in his lungs after the second impact and Hog opened his eyes underwater, immediately regretting the choice as the chlorine began to painfully sting. 

The water wasn’t that deep though, and he sat up again after a moment, taking an experimental breath to be sure his lungs had decided to work again. There was an inhaler he’d left with the bag of their gear, hidden beside the hole they’d made in the fence, and he could feel he was going to need it before too long. His lungs didn’t like him on the best of days, and this was definitely not one of those.

It was what they got for coming to a civvie park though, and expecting to be able to fool around like all the rest. They weren’t made for that.

It took him a second to recognize the tall blonde man sitting next to him, leaning over to throw up swallowed handfuls of water. Roadhog reached out to gently thump his back and earned a watery smile for his trouble, giggles still slightly shaking his shoulders.

In the next instant, Mako had his hands threaded through Junkrat’s hair and he shoved the kid’s face underwater, holding him down with a furious snarl.

“You stupid fuck!” He hissed at Jamie, hoping his voice was loud enough to be heard underwater but not too bothered if it wasn’t. Junkrat would know what the gesture meant either way. “You should have waited!”

There was a crowd formed at the edge of the pool, made up of those who’d seen their miraculous, impromptu trick and those who wanted to watch Rat drown in the slow-moving lagoon. Park security was slipping through the crowd and Hog could hear the sound of ambulances behind them, probably called for the bleeding, broken mess anyone else would have been if they’d done what they had. Granted he was bleeding from small points all over his back, but he’d had worse despite the continual pain his back was giving. He’d be fucking sore tomorrow.

When Rat began to tap at his hand frantically, Hog waited a second longer and then finally let the little fuck up for a breath. The fist launched in his direction was easily dodged by leaning back a little bit and Jamie gasped, face red once again from both the laughter and his drowning. There was fire in his eyes directed at Roadhog, but the bigger man ignored it as easily as he would have ignored a toddler glaring at him. Instead he nodded his head towards the security guards stepping into the water. Rat was going to have to deal with those guys while Hog found a way to get himself off the ground- he didn’t particularly feel like talking right that second.

Luckily, talking was something that Rat was very good at.

Immediately Junkrat began to favor his right leg, showing off the bad prosthetic for everyone around them to see. His metal arm came up to rub at his flesh one, as if buffing the skin for comfort. He was shaking from laughter, but with his teeth buried in his bottom lip to stop it from coming out, it looked like he was about to cry any second. Soaking wet, Rat weighed no more than a 100 pounds, and despite his height he looked pitiful as the guards reached him.

“Sir, are you-“

“How could you do that?” He wailed before the man could finish his sentence, the howl of a dying animal that made several people around them cringe. People always pitied those they saw as crippled and Rat took full advantage of that fact.

“Your… Your attendant said it… it was fine if me and me friend went down together, but…”

Making a concentrated effort to tone down the amount of accent in his voice, Rat swung around to stare at Mako. The cuts on his back were bleeding out into the water, and while none of them were that big or deep, there was enough of them that the water gained a reddish tint. Looked worse than it was, but the man Junkrat was talking to blanched at the sight and one of the other guards peeled away from the pack to begin directing the paramedics and their stretcher through the assembled crowd.

He was going to kill the brat. Dealing with paramedics was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Roadhog got jumpy when people he didn’t know crowded too close.

“We got hurt! You guys le-let it happen!” Betrayal echoed through every single note of Junkrat’s voice and he rushed back to Hog’s side as fast as he could, wobbling more on the prosthetic leg than ever. Murmurs from the crowd filled the quiet as Junkrat threw his arms around Roadhog’s neck and buried his head in his shoulder. Awkwardly, knowing everyone was expecting it, he reached up to pat Rat’s back. The blonde head bobbed with what looked like sobs, but Hog could feel the soft exhalations of laughter.

Junkrat was a good actor, even if he could only hold the part for so long.

With a pained grunt, Hog made himself rise to his feet, waving away the paramedics in bright blue shirts that began to protest. There was a back-board with straps lying on top of the stretcher that wouldn’t have held him when he was a teenager, much less now. 

“M’fine.” He muttered when one of them began to move towards him with a neck brace clutched in one hand. It wasn’t like any of them would be able to force him onto the bed or to wear the stupid brace, but he didn’t feel like fighting right that second- the plan had gone sideways because of Junkrat’s idiotic sense of humor, and he had to hold Rat to side gently instead of strangling him like he wanted to do.

This had actually mattered to him. Not a lot of things did.

“We, we don’t want to make more of a scene…” Jamie sniffled from underneath Roadhog’s arm. Apparently he looked like an easier target than Hog because the paramedic with the neck brace moved closer to him instead, holding it up like he was going to collar a wild dog. A warning growl rumbled through Hog’s throat and Rat shifted in feigned unease, not-so-subtly moving away from the man. He wasn’t the easy target he looked like, but that was the part he was playing for the moment. The guy stopped and threw a look of frustration over his shoulder at the other medics, seemingly at a loss.

Behind the group, a woman with short dark hair and an official-looking polo shirt wormed her way through the crowd and waded into the pool towards them. A visor shielded her eyes from the sun and she clutched a walkie-talkie in her hand like it was a weapon, brandishing it before her. The guards parted in the face of the object and she stopping in front of the Junkers with a strained, pleasant smile on her face. ‘Park Manager’ was etched onto the left breast pocket of her polo shirt.

“What’s going on here?” She asked them, trying to keep her voice friendly. Rat watched her fingers clench around the walkie-talkie until her knuckles turned white. 

One of the guards stepped up to answer, but Roadhog spoke before they could, staring the woman dead in the eyes. 

“Ride malfunction. We’re fine, don’t want medical treatment. Give us a couple of bandages and some food coupons and we won’t sue the place.”

Everyone around them went quiet, trying to process the absolutely bizarre demands. He fully expected them to be realized, of course. No one who worked at the park wanted to deal with a lawsuit and the publicity that would come from two of their guests having been injured on a ride. A disabled person, no less. It would get out anyway, because of the multitude of people around them, but without a lawsuit or an ambulance rushing anyone to the hospital, it couldn’t spread too far.

Right now, all Hog wanted was to wrap his back up and get something huge and greasy to eat, then leave and watch the whole thing blow up from a nice, far hill. He’d let Rat know just how badly he’d fucked up later, when there was time for the lesson to sink in and no one around to step in on the kid’s behalf. 

From the grip he had on Junkrat’s arm, he was sure the kid knew he was in for it later.

“That’s, uh… I don’t think I can…”

“We’re walkin’ outta here ourselves, lady…” Rat spoke up, keeping just the right amount of wavering in his voice. Maybe in another life, he’d have been a shakesperian actor or some shit like that. Sure knew how to sell a story. 

“We don’t want trouble, we just wanted ta have a good day at yer park… And some funnel cake, yaknow?”

Tears sprang back into his eyes and again Rat smashed his face into Roadhog, grabbing onto the edges of his shirt for support. Hog took advantage of the position to press him tighter against his side, hand squeezing him face first into his ribs. While uncomfortable for him, it couldn’t be easy for Junkrat to breathe. An advantage, given the kid couldn’t talk that way.

His gaze had not moved once from the woman’s face and it was she who flinched first, shifting to the side and casting a helpless look around. As if someone could step forward and offer a solution that didn’t sound completely insane.

When no magical savior showed up on angel wings, eventually she shrugged her shoulders and nodded. Hog looked away from her to stare at the paramedics, hand that wasn’t holding Junkrat down held out for the bandages they’d been promised. After a long pause of disbelief, a package was pressed into his hand, marked with the word ‘sterile’. Satisfied, he glanced back at the woman and cocked his head to the side, expectant. 

Raising the walkie-talkie to her lips, she muttered into it for a few seconds and then listened, repeating the action a few times. Hog didn’t know who she was talking to, finally letting Rat up for air when he saw the edges of his face beginning to tint blue. He wheeled back quickly and gasped for breath, starting to retaliate but remembering himself just before he disconnected the metal arm to swing at Hog. Underneath his bandanna, Roadhog smirked, and Rat puffed up, insulted.

“Okay, guys. You can get lunch anywhere in the park, on us. But we’d like to ask you to stick around for a while, we definitely want to talk to you further about what happened and get you to sign some forms, okay?”

The words weren’t a question so much as an order, but Hog nodded away. He turned to lumber over to the side of the pool, the people parting in front of him like minnows in front of a shark. Jamie hobbled after him, shooting shaky smiles at every single one of the paramedics and onlookers he passed. No one seemed sure if they should stop them or not and so no one tried, watching the Junkers turn the corner and walk away from the gigantic red bowl that had caused the whole mess.

They were heading for the space behind the generators where they’d stashed their duffle bags that morning. Junkrat managed to keep silent until they were sure no one had followed them and that there wasn’t a park worker nearby. He was definitely in trouble- he just hoped that Roadhog would still let him blow the place sky high. The worst punishment imaginable would be for Hog to make him deactivate everything and just carry it all out. 

Or maybe Roadhog would still let the timer countdown, but he wouldn’t let Rat watch it. They’d hole up in some shitty motel again, just like they always did, and he would have to know about the glorious explosion happening while he wasn’t there to see it.

Nervously, he began to talk a mile a minute.

“Wasn’ tha’ ride fun, Hoggie? I mean, yeah, got a little iffy there at the end, but the beginning and middle were fantastic! I didn’t know we could even go tha’ high! And the look on that doc’s face when ya refused to let him treat ya? I thought he was gonna have himself a heart attack. Good time for it, I suppose, with all the other medical people right there an’ shit. Why’d ya make em’ give you bandages tho, ain’t you got yer gas canisters in yer bag? Why ya gonna bother with wrappin’ everything up, ain’t gonna stay open for too long!”

Hog took a slow step towards Junkrat and his eyes widened before he quickly backed away, landing against one of the generators. His fingers grasped for somewhere to go as Roadhog stalked closer, face impassive and eyes hidden behind the dark sunglasses that had somehow managed to stay on through the ordeal.

“S-So, ya wanna go pick a place to eat, huh? I meant wha’ I said about the funnel cake, I really wan’ one right now. Bet they have a shitton of powdered sugar ta throw on there too, I mean, they gotta, they’re-“

A huge hand slammed into the metal next to Rat’s head and he flinched away.

Sometimes, Junkrat had no problem standing up to Hog. The big guy wouldn’t kill him just for some little screw up, so even if he did like to act the part of the big, angry babysitter, nothing would come of it. He could laugh in his face and get away with a bruise or two, and maybe a nice handprint around his throat. Bruises were nothing new. 

But sometimes Hog got angry. And while normally he could laugh in the face of danger without feeling anything but excitement, those times made him scared. Made him remember that Roadhog wasn’t his friend and didn’t stick around because he wanted to. He stayed for the treasure and protected Junkrat because it was his job.

Different emotions played out on Rat’s face for Roadhog to see and he deliberately paused to let him sweat it out a little more, carefully choosing his words. The extra time helped him sort out exactly what he was feeling. Why he was so angry.

“I wanted to watch this place burn without a fuss.” He managed to grind out eventually, and Rat tilted his head in confusion. Roadhog had never cared about the explosions and fire as much as he did. He was always too busy on keeping track of their escape plan and watching out for the cops. Sure, he liked the arson, but it was never important.

Now it seemed to be.

“You, the cunt that you are, couldn’t even behave for a single fucking hour.”

How did he impart why this was important to him, without giving away too much of the turmoil rolling around inside his head? Hog didn’t want to tell Rat about carefree days at a community pool or teaching his children how to swim by carefully holding a hand underneath them as they splashed around. There was an ache in his chest when he thought of all that had been lost- people dead and dying in Oz, without water or food or medicine for the radiation that slowly broke their bodies down from the inside out.

And the fuckers behind them were just enjoying themselves like none of it had ever happened. Like there weren’t people like Jamie in the world. He didn’t feel an ounce of pity for a kid, but he did feel hatred for the omnic world that had made him this way. They had to be all sharp angles and anger to survive, and there wasn’t a place for that in the world the civvies lived in.

He didn’t want there to be. He just wanted to leave them with a smoking crater and a shitton of bodies.

“We’re going to blow it. We’re going to watch them scream and shout as their skin melts from their bones and their limbs are sent flying. And you’re not going to do a single thing to mess it up.”

Moving closer, the weight of his belly pressed into Junkrat, pinning him resolutely between Roadhog and the generator. They were both still dripping wet and he could see that Rat was aware of the danger lurking behind him, uncomfortably shifting to try and minimize the amount of his body that was in contact with the thing. Hog did not relent.

“Y-Yeah, alright! I got it mate! Best behavior, no tricks. Like a fuckin’ angel.”

Hog snorted in his face but relented, letting the kid squirm away from the dangerous machinery at his back. He wouldn’t have pressed anymore, given the fact that he really did not want to have to rush Junkrat back to the paramedics, but he didn’t have to know that. There was next-to-no color in Rat’s face as he plopped himself down on the ground and began to riffle through the duffel bags, more for a distraction than anything else.

Lowering himself down to the ground carefully, mindful of the way his muscles clenched and screamed, he discarded the bloodied, soaked Hawaiian shirt. He didn’t have another one, but that was fine in this place- they were only going to venture out to grab the funnel cakes and cotton candy waiting for them, and then the two Junkers would be gone to find a good vantage point. Someone would connect it to them eventually, no doubt. It was pretty hard to mistake a man of his size and a skinny twig on the scene of an explosion as anything but the most notorious terrorists at large. 

But only a handful of survivors wouldn’t be able to paint a very clear picture of the day’s events and even less so if they hadn’t been a witness to the incident at the toilet bowl. It might not have actually done as much harm as Hog had feared, now that he thought about it. The attention was certainly unwelcome, but Rat had managed to talk their way out of it quite efficiently. They would be long gone by the time anyone figured it out, with the beautiful memories of a brilliant red fireball.

Realizing he was still holding the roll of bandages, he tossed them into the bags at Rat’s feet with a snort.

“Why’d ya get ‘em if ya ain’t gonna use ‘em?” Jamie asked, craning his head to look down at the package and then back up at Roadhog. The bleeding had slowed slightly and angry welts were beginning to rise on the skin, marking the places the nails had dragged along or the seams between the plastic bit into him.

“Woulda been suspicious if I didn’t. Go get us some food. Don’t fuck it up.”

It was probably a bad idea to send Junkrat out alone for the food, especially since the kid still seemed to be hyped up on the adrenaline of their close call. But once he was sitting down again, Roadhog didn’t want to get up. It would probably be fine- Jamie looking for food was generally a pretty focused version of himself, and since he knew that Hog was angry with him, he probably wouldn’t stray too far from the mission. Hopefully.

After Junkrat scurried off with a salute and a peal of laughter that made him slightly nervous about this, Hog rolled over onto his stomach in order to let the marks on his back breathe. He had no intention of wasting one of his canisters on the arbitrary things, considering how annoying it was to make the stuff. They’d heal on their own in a couple of days and he wasn’t anticipating rolling around in much dirt or doing something else that could get them infected. It was Rat who always had to worry about whether his soot or ash would get in a wound.

Nevertheless, they stung in the open air. Bullet wounds were a deep, abiding ache that persisted long after the hole had closed over and the metal was no longer lodged underneath his skin. Broken bones were the same, although he had considerably less of those over the year. Too much padding, too good at taking hard impacts for them to happen all that often.

Between all of the many options for an injury, Hog hated small scratches the most. They itched and stung far more than their severity warranted, and he often couldn’t reach them at all when they decorated his back or ran down the lengths of his arms. Irritating, dreadful things.

They probably had some itch cream somewhere in their bags. They kept almost everything they came across, just in case it would come in handy one day, and if there wasn’t a bottle of soothing lotion or something tucked away, he’d let Junkrat decide everything he did for one whole day.

A terrifying thought that would never come to pass.

Sooner than he was expected, he heard the uneven pat of a plastic foot and a flesh one, signaling that Rat had returned from his foraging expedition. Instinctively, Hog also listened for the sound of running footsteps and sirens behind him, wondering if the reason he’d come back so fast was because there were guards and other people chasing him. The thought spurred Hog into action and he reached into his bag to pull out his chain and hook, the first thing his hands had come across. Despite the tight quarters, he didn’t have time to go digging for the scrap gun. Maybe hook Rat in close, grab him and run.

When the sound of pursuers didn’t appear, he relaxed slightly. Junkrat tumbled into the small space between the generators, tripping over his own feet, still unused to the gait the new prosthetic gave him. Boxes and plates of food went flying through the air and Roadhog reacted, his chain hook shooting out to grab anything that looked mildly delicious. He was not going to deal with another expedition for food, not when they probably only had another hour or so until the place became a shiny new scrap heap. It would probably take them that long just to find the perfect viewpoint.

He ended up with a few corndogs speared on the end of his hook, and what felt like a couple of pounds of funnel cake balanced in the other hand. Junkrat was sprawled out in the dirt, metal hand closed around a few containers of soda and other hand clutching an absolutely enormous strand of cotton candy. He smiled up at Roadhog even as the things he hadn’t managed to save, popcorn, hot dogs, a few things that looked like deep-fried oreos, and others, spilled across the ground.

“Saved the important things!” Rat giggled and Hog grunted, staring at the food on his weapon before turning to look at the duffle bags piled on the ground. They’d brought gear and weapons just in case everything went sideways, but now he was regretting his decision. It would be a bitch to lug everything away with only one free hand.

Junkrat scrambled to his feet and somehow tucked the drink bottle between the crook of his neck and his shoulder, using the now free hand to grab a few of the handles of the bags. It was clear he was eager to be gone, since he too had been keeping track of the timer he’d set in the middle of the park. All the perimeter ones were linked to that, set to go off a few minutes after the main explosion in order to catch the people running for safety.

In another life, they might have called themselves horrific for being more upset about the spilled popcorn than they were about the hundreds of people that were about to be caught in their mayhem. But this wasn’t another life and they shouldered through the fence with all their gear and food, creeping through the small woods that surrounded the park before they found a grassy knoll.

It wasn’t a perfect vantage point- there were a few too many trees in the way, so that really all they could see were the outskirts and not the inner mechanisms of the place. But Junkrat was too antsy about missing it, and so he plopped down in the grass and began to munch a corndog. Amused, Hog watched him chew the thing like he was angry at it, sharp teeth ripping off chunks. Rat didn’t stop to chew before he swallowed, orange eyes staring fixedly at a point he guessed to be a tree.

The mid-afternoon sun still shone overhead, but the heat was bearable and there was a cool breeze that wound it’s way through their wet clothes. The funnel cake had been completely loaded with powdered sugar, so much so that the thing was nearly an inedible mass of sugar, but Roadhog ate it without complaining. For once, he understood the anticipation Junkrat held for explosions, could feel the same, churning, excitable feeling rising deep in his gut.

Somehow they’d found themselves on the other side of the world where they belonged, in a place that had no love for them and no caring for what they’d lived through. Roadhog didn’t want their pity- he wanted acknowledgement that he had not chosen to be this way. That he had not been Roadhog from the very beginning, that Mako had existed at some point. As hard as he’d tried to bury the man while in the Outback, here in civilization he wanted to shake Mako in the faces of every single person they passed. 

You’ve done this. Made me this. At least acknowledge it.

They never would.

Sometimes he found other ways. His ears went dull when the water park blew, and he had to reach out to stop Junkrat from rolling down the hill laughing.


End file.
